I need this

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” -Soren Kierkegaard

Although it’s been quite a while since my last post, I realized that this kind of lull is not abnormal for me.  In all my 20+ years of keeping a journal, I would always go through periods of time where I simply didn’t make time to journal, and sometimes I even forgot I had a journal.  It was after the latter–this time of forgetting–that I would realize one of the most important reasons I journal.  And it’s one of the most important reasons I now blog.

Recently, I found an old journal I was writing in during the first days of dating the woman who is now my wife.  Recorded there was all the affection and angst of a man in love, of a man who thought he might have actually found his lifelong companion.  Recorded there are sacred moments in time.  The night I confessed to her that I thought she was beautiful.  Our first kiss.  Our first fight.

As I read through those pages, and then read them aloud to her, something happened.  First, I uninhibitedly fell in love with her all over again.  But, something else happened too.  Though the memories of those days had been recorded, life had obviously continued.  And I now saw all of the early days of our love in a completely new light.  Instead of wishing we could somehow return to those days, I had a renewed appreciation for where my life had come.  But the means to this was through looking back.

And yes, I do briefly lament the many noteworthy events of the past few months that simply didn’t make it into my blog.  I had a son; it doesn’t get much more important than that.  But looking back at previous posts helps me see the present in a new light, and gives me motivation to keep moving and making new memories.

So, here’s to a new spurt of blog posts about what burns within me.  And there are some pretty big things coming up, so it should be good.


About Catterfly

Mexican-American guy, married to a Korean woman, with Korexican kids. I have not arrived yet, but I'm on the path every day to becoming the man, husband, father, son, brother, friend, and pastor I was meant to be. My standard, my highest aim, my very life is Jesus Christ. This is my journey.
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