“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” -Soren Kierkegaard
Although it’s been quite a while since my last post, I realized that this kind of lull is not abnormal for me. In all my 20+ years of keeping a journal, I would always go through periods of time where I simply didn’t make time to journal, and sometimes I even forgot I had a journal. It was after the latter–this time of forgetting–that I would realize one of the most important reasons I journal. And it’s one of the most important reasons I now blog.
Recently, I found an old journal I was writing in during the first days of dating the woman who is now my wife. Recorded there was all the affection and angst of a man in love, of a man who thought he might have actually found his lifelong companion. Recorded there are sacred moments in time. The night I confessed to her that I thought she was beautiful. Our first kiss. Our first fight.
As I read through those pages, and then read them aloud to her, something happened. First, I uninhibitedly fell in love with her all over again. But, something else happened too. Though the memories of those days had been recorded, life had obviously continued. And I now saw all of the early days of our love in a completely new light. Instead of wishing we could somehow return to those days, I had a renewed appreciation for where my life had come. But the means to this was through looking back.
And yes, I do briefly lament the many noteworthy events of the past few months that simply didn’t make it into my blog. I had a son; it doesn’t get much more important than that. But looking back at previous posts helps me see the present in a new light, and gives me motivation to keep moving and making new memories.
So, here’s to a new spurt of blog posts about what burns within me. And there are some pretty big things coming up, so it should be good.